Who?

The youngest of four, raised in South Florida, a child bride, and a mom- a bit on the rebellious side, the grown up when I had to be- a survivor.

For the most part, my life has been good and full of adventure-tho a roller coaster ride. Of course I lived hand-to -mouth, somewhat hard-scrapple at times but I have always felt rich in the grand-scheme.  So blessed in ways no one else could see but me.

There was no damned way Chuck was going to make me a widow, so I divorced him first.  Truly I jest.  Sadly, it just turned out this way.  It was one of life’s cruel little ironies.  I would never have left him had I known.

I went on to fall in love and marry again on Thanksgiving Day in 2005.  Chuck gave me away at my wedding.  Within three months , I experienced an advanced maternal -age pregnancy at the tender age of 45.  We ultimately  lost the baby and then Chuck, four days later to bladder cancer.

This was a bittersweet time.  Agonizing but so beautifully real.  A spiritual awakening so to speak,  followed by a year of mourning and what felt like a major meltdown.  The truth is I have experienced bouts of depression throughout my life BUT this bout was a BIGGY!

Again with the boot straps.

Even so, partnered with my new husband, I was (for the most part)   happy and we worked in property management for a total of eight years. Life was good. It seemed I had finally found my niche.

I am a grandmother of four now.   They range in age from not quite a year old  to 8.5 years old.  Three little girls and one boy.  They are awesome.  I attribute this to their awesome genetics.   Well hell, how could they be anything short of a amazing?   Look at me!  Again, I jest but often marvel that these perfect little  creatures  ( in part) carry my DNA.  I love watching them.  Every little expression carries me back to another time and place.

These days, my hubby and I live a quiet, (temporarily, we hope) impoverished life in an itty bitty house, in an itty bitty town in Florida near the nature coast with our three cats .  While we had pain-stakingly planned the itty bitty house, and itty bitty town, the poverty part came as quite a surprise.  We have been out of work for seven months and it has not been easy with no income to speak of.

I’ll tell you another thing that surprises me and something I am not quite ready for.  Being middle-aged!  But there’s really no way of denying it now.  Wisps of platinum – white hair, ( like my own mother)  have taken up residence around my face and my laugh lines are not so laughable anymore.  My husband is four years from respectable retirement while Uncle Sam seems to think I should work for another 16 years. Really dude, are you kidding me?

Sometimes I feel ancient but mostly I’m just me.  Spirited, young at heart and very independent, even while my body betrays me in not so subtle ways.

And so , in knowing a little about me, you know a little about this blog.  It is about life.  My life- such as it is!  And I couldn’t have picked a more appropriate name for it as truly I am a HOT southern mess in every sense of the word.

and so with this said, my story continues …

May, 2012

3 thoughts on “Who?

  1. Pingback: VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD – I’d like to thank the Academy…. | Phoenix Flights

  2. Beautifully written! It sounds as if you really enjoy life, no matter the struggles you have gone through. 🙂

    I’m Lou and I found your blog through Mr Opinions Blog (as I have found so many other wonderfully interesting bloggers) It’s lovely to meet you 🙂

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